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Norwich Board Crisis Meeting - Sunday Oct 30th

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Norwich Board Meeting –  Crisis Session -Sunday Oct 29thth

In Attendance: Roger Munby; Neil Doncaster; Delia Smith; Michael Wynn-Jones

Special Guest: Dicky

Roger: I’d like to call this meeting to order. We all know why we’re gathered here. We have a crisis on our hands. We are heading for relegation faster than the growth in Chinese exports. The question being, what are we going to do about it?

Neil: I think we should just tell the Chinese to bugger off and sell their stuff to their own people.

Delia: Neil, every time you open your mouth something stupid comes out so, please, put a cork in it. Dicky, you are obviously our most loyal fan and we really appreciate it ( Delia leans over to Michael, whispering, “If we had 25,000 like him we could fool all of the people all of the time”). Now tell me Dicky, what are the fans really feeling we should do as far as Nigel is concerned?

Dicky: Just keep supporting him. The majority of fans feel things will turn around eventually. We have to be supportive in the good times and the bad times. We have to keep applauding the boys on the pitch so they know we’re on their side.

Roger: Well that’s very commendable Dicky, but tell me if we all applaud the players when they are doing so poorly won’t that confuse them?

Dicky: What do you mean?

Roger: Well, these players are not the brightest bulbs in the house you know. They might start to believe that, because we are applauding them, we want them to keep doing what they’re doing.

Dicky: Oh, I see what you mean ( while Roger is thinking “this bulb doesn’t seem too bright either” ) Well, how would you like us fans to respond at the games?

Roger: Well, I think we have to let them know we want them to do better, otherwise we will be the first club relegated from the Championship directly to Division Two. The question at hand, however, is how do we let Nigel know how the fans feel?

Dicky: I am currently supporting Nigel by responding to the poll on the Pink ‘Un in a positive way. I pressed the key 20,000 times.

Roger: And what effect has that had?

Dicky: My finger hurts

Roger: No, no. I think you misunderstand me Dicky. Getting back to Delia’s question, what she was getting at is, do you think the fans want us to fire Nigel?

Dicky: Not before Guy Fawkes night surely.

Neil: ( getting all excited ) Oh,oh,oh....I’ve just had a brainwave. When we lose the game to Wolves on November 5th let’s make sure that every Norwich community has a guy looking like Nigel to burn in effigy that night. We’ll get Anglia television to arrange for a camera at each of the fire sites. When Nigel sees it he’ll resign and leave town so fast  we won’t have to even pay for his petrol.

Delia: I can’t believe my ears. That’s the first good idea I’ve ever heard you come up with Neil. You’re in charge of the project.

Dicky: I can’t believe what I’m hearing. All this time I thought Norwich City was a nice family club built on loyalty.

Delia: Dicky, we’re running a business, not a charity organisation. Michael and I keep reviewing our bank account and it’s been sinking faster than the teams league position. We’ve supported the loans for the long term debt with ongoing attendance figures of 25,000. Unless we do something the only thing in attendance at the beginning of next season will be you and your poor finger. Speaking of which, Michael, when are you going to get your finger out and start making a contribution.

Michael: Oh Lord. Meeting adjourned.

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[quote]Norwich Board Meeting – Crisis Session -Sunday Oct 29thth In Attendance: Roger Munby; Neil Doncaster; Delia Smith; Michael Wynn-Jones Special Guest: Dicky Roger: I’d like to call this meeting to o...[/quote]

As before, I am flattered by the special attention you are paying me.

However, being called thick by someone that side of the water is taking the mickey about don''t you think.

Glad to see that you are now starting on the board and shareholders as well.

In terms of being the "most loyal fan" - does that come from me actually going to games, or would I get the same credit if I just sat on my computer slagging off the club and all associated with it?

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[quote]excellent Stuff! jas[/quote]

Slagging off Delia, Michael etc, yeah really excellent stuff. Just what is needed.

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Dicky, you did GO to the game, or LISTEN to it??

You realise we were playing Sheffiuld WEDNESDAY not Utd?

You realise that the manager you''re blindly backing has turned this club full circle, we are now right back to where we started, at the bottom of the Championship?

 

Or are you talking about a different club??

 

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A parade? how jolly! City Hall is booked up and ready and waiting! No, hang on! isnt that about to be turned into an Hotel... noooooooo... silly me.... thats the Barclay.

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Dicky, to quote your words, I wasn''t really trying to call you "thick". I was simply taking the inputs you have been providing on this message board and injecting them into the "meeting". I can hardly be responsible for the interpretation you apply to those words.  

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[quote]Dicky, to quote your words, I wasn''t really trying to call you "thick". I was simply taking the inputs you have been providing on this message board and injecting them into the "meeting". I can hardly...[/quote]

This bulb doesn''t seem too bright....   Ummm, what else can that mean?

Anyway, you didn''t answer my question in my reply?

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I think you had two questions Dicky. My apologies for not responding:

1. However, being called thick by someone that side of the water is taking the mickey about don''t you think.

My response; to use a word that you seem to favour....What?

2. In terms of being the "most loyal fan" - does that come from me actually going to games, or would I get the same credit if I just sat on my computer slagging off the club and all associated with it?

My response; I commend you for going to the games and being a loyal supporter. I do the opposite when you call into question the loyalty of others who have a different opinion than you. I particularly found distateful your whole challenge to supporters who no longer go to games. You know not of their circumstances and they may well over time have been far more supportive and loyal than yourself. You repeat the same mistake here. Until you cease your behaviour in that regard, rest assured, there will be people like me that will respond, relentlessly.

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Aaah, now I see the light ...

It''s all a conspiracy.

A conspiracy by a ruthless matriarch to squeeze hard-earned cash out of dim-witted supporters, personified by poor old Dicky. Actually I have it on good authority that Delia is Sheepshanks'' creature & they''re all involved in a global business football conglomerate that has fixed all the results beforehand. It''s all so clear now. I just wish the rest of you had YCs perspicacity & could see what is going on ...

Actually, the scene portayed reminds me of the old Spitting Image sketch, where Maggie is having lunch with the Cabinet:

"And the vegetables, ma''am?"

"Oh, they''ll have the same as me"

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Brilliant Yankee....it sums up Dicky in his own words so that its clear even to himself (which is a wonder in itself) how stupid, ignorant and pathetic his words sound...but thats ok he likes the special attention.  

 

Laugh I did and then some more.....some people hey Yankee!

OTBC

 

St.John

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[quote]has dicky done something wrong? Or just given an opinion...[/quote]

Obviously, Dicky has done wrong! He has a differing opinion to the majority of posters on this message board, making him not only stupid, but also just wrong.

To be honest, when people stoop to "hilarious and satirical" personal veiled insults it does make this board a bit of a waste of time, which is a shame. Also, I''m sure people dislike Worthington''s management, but to start calling him "Worthless" and worse is just a tiny bit childish.

Perhaps we should all get back to the football rather than the whole "Miss, he doesn''t agree with what I say, he''s stupid!" playground mentality that seems to frequent most NCFC message boards nowadays.

</rant>

Ian

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[quote]Brilliant Yankee....it sums up Dicky in his own words so that its clear even to himself (which is a wonder in itself) how stupid, ignorant and pathetic his words sound...but thats ok he likes the spec...[/quote]

Stupid, ignorant and pathetic - for having an opinion and backing my club.

Nice.

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