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Here's my plan for Tuesday night

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To let the board know of my displeasure with our slow start I shall applaud the team onto the pitch but remain seated. Because we beat the binners I shall sing of On the ball City but leave out the ''never mind the danger'' bit as we aren''t doing too well. That should let them know my thoughts.

If we are ahead at halftime I shall stand up and cheer but not too loudly, if we are drawing I shall say ''never mind'' rather quietly and if we are losing I shall shake my head and tut vigorously. If that doesn''t send a message then I don''t know what will.

If we do lose I shall stay behind at the end till everyone else leaves my row and there is some space near the exit. I will also shake my fist at the directors box when I am outside, but from a distance as it is not on the way to the pub.

I urge all fans to do the same though I suggest that you all get there at least an hour early - especially those that block the bar before the game in my regular pub.

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