President Bush

[YankeeCanary 0]

Special Norwich Management Meeting January 19th

Regular Attendees: Delia Smith; Michael Wynn Jones; Neil Doncaster; Nigel Worthington
Special Guest: President George Bush

Delia: “We are honored today to have President George Bush visit us. Welcome Mr. President. You told me on the phone that you would share with us the purpose of your visit when you arrived here.”

Bushy: “ Exactly right Delia. I hope you don’t mind if we all call each other on a first name basis. I prefer to be called Bushy...reminds me of being back at the ranch. I’m not much on protocol, so I’ll get right to the point. As you know, I hold the British people in the very highest regard and because of the support from Tony Blair and company, I wanted to make a gesture, aside from politics, of making a personal investment somewhere in Britain. I asked Tony if he could think of the most deprived part of Britain, a place that no one else seems to know much about, a place where proper highways don’t connect to, where the people are so isolated it’s caused them to be the most suspicious people in the land, a place where the people regard foreign to mean anybody or anything that exists outside of its county boundary, a place where people can find their way around blindfolded because nothing ever changes, a place where too many turkeys are allowed to rule the roost, but yet a place populated by people with a potential for passion without having anything to truly satisfy that passion. Tony told me that Norwich fitted that description to a tee. As you may know, I’ve always had a great affection for sports and I’ve owned baseball teams and the like, so I realize through personal experience that a great sports team can bring that kind of satisfaction to people. I was told that your football club is one of the most underdeveloped in England. That you have the potential to be one of the leading six football powerhouses in the nation except that a bunch of inebriated yokels want to hold you back in the dark ages.”

Neil: “You say a mouthful Bushy”

Delia: “ Be quiet Neil. I’ll tell you when to speak. So let me understand you Bushy. Are you saying that you want to invest in us or buy us outright?’

Bushy: “People always misunderstand American objectives Delia. I’m here to help....not take over. However, apart from financial investment, it does seem that change, in your case, is necessary to achieve the kind of success you seek. I do have a few ideas that may be worth pursuing. Actually one of the ideas came from something one of your supporters said, a fellow called Old Man Andy. He said that you have a place not too far from here called Diss....sounds like a perfect spot for UK DissneyWorld. We’ll put the highways in first, and then the theme park and a new giant football stadium beside it right after. Of course, we would want to have a new colour strip, possibly red, white and blue stripes. Something that would intimidate other teams. But we’ll talk about all this over a bowl of hot punch. Tell me how you got involved with the Canaries and your hopes for the club.”

Michael: “ A few years ago Delia and I were planning to invest in Canary Wharf and the middleman we used was an incompetent. However, since we’re stuck, we’ve been trying to generate a return on our investment by getting the club promoted into the top division. We are in first place in our own division at the moment but a lot of us are nervous as to whether or not we can hold that position until the end of the season”

Bushy: “Well then, spend, spend, spend to buy what you need.”

Nigel: “Now you’re talking Bushy!”

Neil: “We have no more money. We’ve even exhausted our Visa credit.”

Bushy: “Let’s get real here. Pick up a few hundred American Express cards...no maximum restrictions. When the bill comes due you’ve already been promoted”

Delia: “We don’t operate like that at this clu

[a1canary 0]

eh?

(p.s ''most deprived part of britain''? Don''t thing that''ll go down well here. Have you ever been to Stoke-on-Trent? Or Leeds. Or Liverpool? Or Manchester? Or Glasgow? Or Portsmouth...?

[As my login causes problems [ :o) ] 0]

and a Moderator read that cr*p and put it up on the Board ?

Please God strike that rather warped individual incapable of using a computer as well as his brain!!!

[Rasputin was a C... 0]

One good point about the feeling that no one notices us. For the past couple of years when we''ve up there, no one has really payed any attention to us. However it is a good thing in many ways. How many times have we been mentioned on national tv or radio and then go on a poor run, for example, now.