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A Load of Squit

First on MOTD tonight

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First game maybe, but I bet an in depth analysis of Jurgen Klopp''s press conference responses will be first up, followed by a promo for Children in Need. The pundits will talk about Newcastle''s failings and refer to Alec Neil.

If Mbokani scores, Lineker will say something like "Norwich fans must be saying ''thank god''" and then lick himself with pleasure as he oozes into the camera.

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They''ll likely do a reprise of "Quicky Come Cake Baking," or whatever it is, on the grounds that there is more audience Other options:-

Live Knitting from Estonia.

The Brendan Rodgers Life Story.

Russell Brand ... The Interview.

Mastermind ... Edited Highlights.

Katy Price Travels in Patagonia.

They''ll find something to solve the "problem." of having to devote decent time to Norwich City even if it''s a replay of McClaren''s best brolley moments.

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