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True Grit

Brentford appoint Flemming Pederson as head of philosophy

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The Bees are going to produce a lot of honey with this move. Philosophy and strict core values are a huge aspect of the modern day game.

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Immanuel Kant was a real p*ssant

Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar

Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume

Schopenhauer and Hegel,

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine

Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There''s nothing Nietzsche couldn''t teach ya''

''Bout the raising of the wrist.


John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,

On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away;

Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugg*r for the bottle,

Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;

A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he''s p*ssed!

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