Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
im spartacus canary

what are you having for breakfast monday and will you have a dump before you set off ?

Recommended Posts

I shall be enjoying a double Jalfezi on Sunday night, eating porridge and kippers Monday morning then splattering my blue porcelain pan before lighting a large cigar and having a swift tug while thinking about AN.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Once the first selfiish disorganised b@stard has a dump on the coach it renders the bog unusable for the rest of the journey, please people i implore you to consider fellow canaries and try and have a dump at home !!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I see where ur coming from Spartacus, you in fact want to be the first one to dump on the bus but fear you may not have one in the tube till around 9.30, you just want to make sure ur the first person to lay one down.

Clever!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Good plan by BBB ,,, however ,, a question ,, if ,, due to the number of coaches needed for the epic transportation effort, you end up on a slightly antique model , without the luxury of an onboard toilet , will you still " curl one out " ?

If so ,, would this just be left under the seat ,,, or will you retain a Morrisons carrier bag dump into it ,,, and neatly knot the handles to trap the obnoxious affluvia ?

( I use this method when I empty the cats tray )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to burst any bubbles, but I think the coach companies employ people to lay a Mersey trout in each toilet before the bus leaves the garage. Just to ensure that each coach has that special, Club Cabbage, aroma.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Very good question there by Barclay Seats..  A good breakfast is essential to set you up for the day and as we all know what goes must come out. As a fairly seasoned away game traveller I feel the need to let

those who don''t usually travel know the correct away game dumping

ettiquette...If travelling on Club Canary then the toilets really ought to only be used for number ones. Please avoid dumping in there for the benefit of the rest of the travelling Yellow army, we all need our lungs to be in tip-top shape for singing, so have a poo before you leave home.A completely different set of rules apply if travelling away on a train that goes via ipswich. Dumping on the train is obligatory, however accurate timing is critical. You must do your business in time to have a flush at ipswich station.Bear in mind the football specials on Monday aren''t stopping at the suffolk cesspit so you need to be accurate with the flush.Unfortunately the chance to leave a log in ipswich is going to stop soon as Abellio Greater Anglia are refurbishing the trains with loos that flush into tanks instead of onto the tracks. Bloody kill-joys.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There is an advantage to not stopping at Ipswich, if as you say you can accurately time your flush, there is an oppertunity to deliver a fine but potent sprey along the length of the platform, and of course those waiting patiently there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
There is an obvious need for a Dump Co-ordinator, on each train, who can appoint Deputy Dump Co-ordinators on each carriage (toilet) and synchronicity of watches is VITAL .

Any volunteers?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Crabbycanary3"]There is an obvious need for a Dump Co-ordinator, on each train, who can appoint Deputy Dump Co-ordinators on each carriage (toilet) and synchronicity of watches is VITAL .

Any volunteers?[/quote]I wonder what Mick McCarthy is doing on Monday? He is actually pretty decent at organising sh1t.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This thread contains too much information...have a word with yourselves! [;)]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
*Morty top tip*On Sunday, eat nothing but broccoli and sweetcorn to give your Bank holiday poop a real Norwich City look."On the ball sh1tty, never mind the danger"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Robert Poole "]This thread contains too much information...have a word with yourselves! [;)]

[/quote]

Morning Wiz.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Well I''ll be surprised if Monday''s breakfast doesn''t involve partaking of alcohol.With regards to the other question I don''t know about Monday but if previous booze-laden away days are anything to go by Tuesday will take care of itself [:D]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="TIL 1010"]

[quote user="Robert Poole "]This thread contains too much information...have a word with yourselves! [;)]

[/quote]

Morning Wiz.

[/quote]

 

Morning Til.  [;)]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Robert Poole "][quote user="TIL 1010"]

[quote user="Robert Poole "]This thread contains too much information...have a word with yourselves! [;)]

[/quote]

Morning Wiz.

[/quote]

 

Morning Til.  [;)]

[/quote]

Good work on TWTD by the way.

As for breakfast a couple of large vodka and Redbulls on the 8am rattler to Stratford should set the day up well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="Norwich Crazy"]bottle of brandy with my name on it[/quote]Must be a big bottle for all those names Waveney. [:D]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[quote user="Crafty Canary"]Dump Co-ordinator - sounds like a job for Nutty Nigel. He knows a lot about handling sh*t

[/quote]

As opposed to those who write and talk sh*t hey Crafty ? [:P]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I''m anticipating a number of mini dumps on my journey. Firstly, is that acceptable and secondly, I''m going by car, what is the procedure?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Out through the sunroof not out the window. That way the air current will take it away rather than smear it down the side.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
[quote user="TIL 1010"]

[quote user="Crafty Canary"]Dump Co-ordinator - sounds like a job for Nutty Nigel. He knows a lot about handling sh*t

[/quote]

As opposed to those who write and talk sh*t hey Crafty ? [:P]

[/quote]

Well you are certainly the expert in that area Tilly!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...