This is quite something...

[king canary 8,763]

http://www.twtd.co.uk/ipswich-town-news/27542/season-review--may

It is the Ipswich season review for May- some flowery prose but reading it, it seems like ''not getting hammered by Norwich over two legs'' is some amazing achievement.

Some of the bits that made me snort with laughter...

On their goal in the first leg...

''Sir Alf, Sir Bob,and nearly all between and beyond raised a cacophony of jubilation which extended past the heavens as the invading horde crashed to earth and silence took upon them in the echoes of our delight.''

On their glorious history...

''Ipswich do not merely take what is given to them and claim it as their own anyway, for we are not a club so fond of counting seats rather than silverware, nor phobic of the past in deference of the present.''

The second leg, what I remember being a pretty routine low cross that Ruddy cut out...

''Murphy contrived the first scare, calling on the keeper to claim a thundering flash across goal.''

On their goal...

''A set piece set him apart and their defence flailing. The 70-yard dash to celebrate with the delirious corner of Norfolk, now forever Ipswich''s.''

Amazing. I know its been a shit decade or so for them but this is all a bit sad...

[Miss Bum Bum 0]

The hard facts 4 old farm derbies 3 wins and a draw. Then followed by a promotion. They will always have the achievement of scoring at Carrow Road. No wonder they are delighted

[Branston Pickle 4,152]

They can use whatever flowery language they want, and over-state every half-chance that they created, but the facts speak clearly for themselves: we played each other 4 times, they lost 3 and drew 1. The record books don''t give a stuff about the why''s and wherefore''s, and neither do we. In all honesty I''d have almost preferred it had we not won comfortably, and even been outplayed, as it would make it even harder for them to stomach - but we all know the truth is that they weren''t even close.

[BroadstairsR 2,273]

I saw that. It came up earlyish and is nonsense from beginning to end.

 

Cooked up by two regulars on that forum who like themselves too much.

 

The attempt at Shakesperian prose is just daft.

 

It seems to have caused  embarrassment amongst the rest of the great unwashed as well as there are no replies to date.

 

What is it? "We count trophies, not seats"

 

All three of them (trophies that is.) 

 

Their season''s demise at the hands of Norwich City hurts many of them so much that they have now created an alternative World in which to exist. They cannot come to terms with reality.

[king canary 8,763]

The thing I find so weird is how they simultaneously claim to be so much bigger than us yet also want to play the poor underdog at the same time.

[Lessingham Canary 108]

Bless em !

[BroadstairsR 2,273]

Today''s rib-tickler from TWTD:-

 

"Had Town won the league in 81, do people around back then reckon we could''ve won the European Cup the following year?"

 

And it''s not even Friday.

 

This "history" theme is a daily onslaught on there. Quite unique amongst all clubs, even the Liverpools.

 

Apparently, the local MP has suggested including ITFC into the history curriculum of all Suffolk schools. The main stumbling block is that it would have to be a five year course and the  content would take up less than five days, including a field trip to Portman Road to scrape the pigeon crap off the statues and a few days out with collection tins on behalf of St. John''s ambulance.

 

 

Never in the field of sporting conflict has so much been made by so many about so little. 

 

 

[BroadstairsR 2,273]

Even more

 

"I think that we were the best side in Europe in 1981 and could well of (sic) gone on to prove it in 1982 by winning the European Cup."

 

Robson did gather together a very good team at that time. The problem is he was always handicapped by the fact that Ipswich Town were such a small club, with small club limitations.

 

If he had have assembled the same group of players in Manchester, Liverpool or London he would surely have led them to greater things, including, quite possibly, the European Cup. 

[King Klose 0]

Wow. Just wow. It gets to the point where you almost feel sorry for them and their mental capabilities.

[morty 0]

I actually struggle to remember what positives we used to cling to when we were languishing in the Championship during the Hamilton / Grant / Roeder / Gunn years.

[morty 0]

Useless observation, whilst thumbing through wiki re our managers, I notice that 5 out of the last 10 have been Scottish.

[KeiranShikari_2 0]

[quote user="morty"]I actually struggle to remember what positives we used to cling to when we were languishing in the Championship during the Hamilton / Grant / Roeder / Gunn years.[/quote]

Picking up unpolished gems like cody lad that''ll sell for millions in the future.

[morty 0]

[quote user="KeiranShikari"][quote user="morty"]I actually struggle to remember what positives we used to cling to when we were languishing in the Championship during the Hamilton / Grant / Roeder / Gunn years.[/quote]

Picking up unpolished gems like cody lad that''ll sell for millions in the future.[/quote]Don''t, am still gutted Olly never made it [:(]

[Nicko 0]

So difficult to read. Has the air of somebody trying to be smart but failing miserably.

[Iwans Big Toe 382]

I suppose when you have put up with 12 years of mediocrity a slightly above average season is to be celebrated.

Also this: "A hoof down field saw Tommy Smith stumble in the shouldering of

defensive responsibilities and Cameron Jerome cut inside for Jonny

Howson to deal the first blow and draw first blood." - Irony, my favourite.

[Buh 0]

Jesus... How embarrassing...

Can''t wait for them to go out of business...

[Syteanric 1]

does the writer of the article think he''s Will Self? more like "playwithyour self"