Juggy

"I''ve seen 2-3 players in actual Sunday League teams that I genuinely felt offered a greater goal threat (even against such pathetic opposition) than Heskey did in the majority of his career" I can''t believe you actually think you can compare a sunday league player with a professional. It''s like watching boxing down The Talk and saying that one of them looks good enough to beat Danny Garcia.

It a years time can we make a version of that Badiel and skinner song.... "30 years of huuurrt" etc etc

I realised that at the exact millisecond I pressed post and could do nothing but hope nobody noticed.

Here''s the goal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T03cy6uA3Bs

Loza is still young and learning the game, I like the way he is being managed and broken in slowly in 30 day loans. Next year maybe he''ll go out on a half season loan and establish himself somewhere. Grabbing a goal in your 6th professional appearance is a huge achievement and hopefully something he can build on.

"What are realistic expectations? Where would people expect us to be in the away table?" Outside of the bottom 3 would be a good start.

"Legendary donkey" Idiot. He was excellent at what he did, a 30 year old Heskey is exactly the type of player that Hooper or Van Wolfswinkel would love to play alongside. He was one of the best around at holding up the ball and bringing a number 9 into the game. I''d have thought that a Norwich fan in particular would be able to watch the complete ineffectiveness of our two number 9''s and understand that. Heskey would have been the perfect player to drop into our squad as a partner for Hooper. Next you are going to tell me how rubbish 40 goals in 154 games for Leicester is, or 39 in 150 for Liverpool, and tell me that he could "do everything but score", and then follow that up by telling me how class Van Wolfswinkel is or tell us that Hooper will challenge for an England spot next season. Heskey was unfairly used as a scapegoat by England fans but appreciated by the fans of his first four Premier League clubs.

I think it is pathetic to be having a player of the season vote in March in the middle of a relegation battle, with certain players coming into form who might have been contenders if this was allowed to run for the duration of the season (Howson, Tettey, Ruddy). So I don''t care if they sabotage it.

"Yeh, Tim, get a room with LeJuge......he likes being sucked up to (did I say that right?" Can we take this as casual homophobia then Lakey?

"but this RvW hate campaign is childish" I don''t hate him, in fact he seems like a very nice fella. It''s just that his signing has been an unmitigated disaster. £8.5m for 1 goal in 25 games. It will take him 2500 games to score 100 goals at this rate. It is a Hughton/Calderwood/Trollope failure, and along with the away form one of the reasons why I''m so keen for us to part ways at the end of the season. Not a single person has commented on the player in the title and video though, anybody seriously going to tell me that they wouldn''t consider cutting their losses and swapping Wolfy for that beast?

That Remy incident was a very moronic thing for him to do, it was embarrassing and not something that I want to see from a Norwich player, my opinion on that is unchanged. I''ve defended him many times though. I''m only giving him my vote for his 100% never say die attitude, at one stage it felt like he was the only one playing for any pride when the tide was against us. Him and Snodgrass get my vote for that, both of them are warriors.

Seeing as you just called me a moron Yobocop, perhaps you would like to explain when it was that Earnshaw scored (or for that matter, played) for us in the Premier League?

Where is the gratitude? That''s the last time I do you a favour!

Thought I''d take a weight off of Lakeys shoulders today and produce a meaningless list of positives on his behalf.... 1). If we ignore 73% of our away games this season, we are unbeaten away from home. 2) If we ignore our last five away games, and our first seven away games, we are excellent away from home. 3) If we add together the goals conceded against the top 6 but pretend that Man Utd are in the top 6 and imagine that Everton are not, and then deduct the total from our goals conceded column, but don''t deduct the goals that other teams have conceded in these games from their own columns, then our goal difference actually looks reasonably respectable. 4) If we add together the league goals scored by all four of our strikers they have almost scored as many as Benteke, which is definitely relevant as we only play one striker at a time. 5) If we pretended that we''d won every time somebody somewhere thought we were unlucky not to win we would be in the top 6. 6) Even though only one team in the league has scored less than us this season we have managed the amazing feat of winning 1.19 points for every goal scored, efficiency which would make even the CEO of Mercedes Benz proud, and if Liverpool had 1.19 points for every goal scored they would have 98 points - more than is actually mathematically possible from 30 games. That probably makes us the best team in the world. 7) Ricky Van Wolfswinkel is definitely still going to be the next Robin Van Persie, and if he wasn''t then Holland wouldn''t have given him a few minutes in a couple of meaningless friendlies and there is at least a small possibility that Collins John''s two international caps have been the longest running and most successful Wikipedia hoax since the sites inception. 8) If Van Wolswinkel stays here forever and plays 300 games for us then he will manage 12 goals in total, which only works out at £708,000 a goal not including wages. That is 2 more than Gary Doherty scored, if we ignore than Doc played 100 less games.

Only one person on this forum could try and spin 19th place in the away table by starting a sentence like this: "Putting the early season aside, since our WDD sequence, we have had five away games" Translation: "If you ignore the first 7 away games of the season, apart from maybe the third one, and then ignore the last 5 away games that we have played, we are actually unbeaten away from home and right up there with the best in the league". Or: "If we ignore 83% of our away games this season we are actually really good away from home". That is how most people read your claptrap on a daily basis.

Carlo Nash for me.

"Give it a rest BW" Is that supposed to be me?

That is probably the polar opposite to my newspaper of choice. I''d nominate you for the Sunday Sport because there aren''t many words in it, the readership wouldn''t have to tolerate your insufferable nonsense and you might become too preoccupied with pictures of big plastic t*ts to write your boring daily pinkun essays.

"Nah Le Juge, my list is fairly small. Just the people who hate Bradley Johnson. And you. If you hate Bradley Johnson too then you''ll have to be declared public enemy number one..." Any reason why you dislike me so much GingerPele? Bradley Johnson would get my POTS vote right now, with Snodgrass probably snatching it if he keeps up current form. So sorry, I''ll be number 2 on your list if that''s OK, might keep me off your dartboard.

I''d love to compare the 2014 numbers Lakey.

"You should work for the Daily Mail................." How ironic that the biggest spin merchant on the forum is suggesting I become a journalist.

Funny definition of sitting on the fence, it isn''t the same as mine.

We are 19th in the away table Lakey, we finished 18th in the away table last season. You even said yourself that we are 8th in the home form table. Why are you so incapable of just admitting that we are terrible away from home?

LAKE DISTRICT CANARY TO THIS THREAD PLEASE.

Oh, you said you agree with LDC. Not sure about his personal hygiene, don''t think he is ever away from this place enough to shower.