mikewalker

My spies tell me that Delia''s made a massive cake with "100 not out" iced on it in Yellow and Green, 100 candles the lot. Except the joke is that Myleene Klass is gonna be tucked away inside, as its a fake cake. She''ll jump out Under Siege style hopefully with her swimming cossie intact and then she''s gonna sing "Happy Birthday Mr President" to Lambert like Marilyn Monroe style. Semi ons aots.

What do you want, to know?

What do you want to know?

10. Pacheco genuinely influencing a game 9. Lappin and Korey Smith 8. Booing off the team for drawing with Doncaster and Preston 7. The Crystal Palace forward player who was lightning quick and looked ace, tore Drury a new one, then cried and had to be comforted/aided with translation when booked by his captain who touched him up after the card was brandished. 6. Robbie Savage bossing midfield whilst we lost the plot for half an hour (but scuffed a winner) 5. Jimmy Bullard doing the same for Hull months ago at Carrow Road 4. Lambert wanting to chin the ref on telly at final whistle vs Reading away 3. The girl with huge chebs one row and 4 seats across from me leaning over talking to her mate at half time vs Derby and exposing a nip. Glorious. 2. The bloke who brings roast chickens from Morrisons in for the second half and has juice/chicken bit all over his grid flying out when we slot our inevitable 90+mins goal. Vile glutton. 1. Hopefully, that embarressing ''fun for 2 months back in 2002 but WAY PAST its sell by date'' goal music we STILL play

We will kick off with intent, abandoning our traditional punt-it-out-on-the-left flank process of taking centre kicks in favour of a move my spies at Colney have described as a "grid-iron screen". Still with me? Great. The gist of it is Ruddy will run full pelt and absolutely helm the ball from a yard inside the Cov half, the protective huddle screen of all 10 city players diving to the floor as Ruddy blamms a 101mph scorcher right into the goal. "HUZZZZAH SING HOZANNAH" we will roar, before cursing not sticking a quid on him at the Ladbrokes booth and then conceding 2 soft goals from corners. Our other incident of note will be Lappin failing to get a shot on target all match despite everyone teeing him up when better placed to slot. Ruddy will mock him at the final whistle for having scored more, Lappin won''t take it in jest and Culverhouse will have to seperate them. This will be glossed over by the euphoric promotion celebrations but mark my words, we''ll need a new keeper as Lappin will simmer all summer and take violent revenge in pre-season by pepper-spraying Ruddy as he stumbles out of Rocco''s, ruling him out for weeks. Displaced contact lenses/eye infection, 6-8 weeks, innit. 1-2 Cov.   Also, why oh why do the pink un put the scores like this on the City Fixtures bit (away games) Bristol C (a) 0-3 Ipswich (a) 1-5 Its a city fixtures page, put our score first its confusing to glance at, I doubt other teams come here to get their scores so lets just do ours first as its all about us. Sort it ffs Pete.

loads of sailors, DJ Hixxy,the fat tramp with the bell, Joe Jackson, Kim Woodburn, Roland from Tears For Fears, can you hear me, Roland from Tears For Fears, your boys took one hell of a beating, one hell of a beating!!!(apols for the delay, my internet streams only just finished...)

Possibly. Lets just chill-relax and have a solero in the sunshine.

[quote user="s10_yellow"]It is NOT on the red button, he''s winding you up. The game will not be on TV anywhere except at Carrow Road.[/quote]   Yeah, if you''re still on analogue telly. Get a digi box man, they''re only £10 in cash converters. Digi box, couple of putters and Tiger Woods 2004 for PS2, all for £21. Touch.

[quote user="CharlieFarlie"] [quote user="mikewalker"]Its on the red button on BBC. Simply armchair it up in the comfort of your own man-cave whilst the dulcit tones of John Motson to calm your nerves.[/quote] Where have you got this info MW ? [/quote] See my other post. I''ve got the live buildup on now.

Its on now, the pre match buildup is gathering pace. Gabby Logans just been on the pitch interviewing the head groundsman as he shaves a giant suffolk punch pony into the turf... she might have distracted him as when they zoomed out to hand back to Jim Rosenthal in the studio the camera angle made it look like the horse has 5 legs/a massive wang. Now its a montage of Ian Marshall missing sitters, having awful hair and showcasing his ''one finger assisted blowing yards of snot out of his hooter'' technique. Compelling telly.

It is being televised. Get involved.

Its on the red button on BBC. Simply armchair it up in the comfort of your own man-cave whilst the dulcit tones of John Motson to calm your nerves.

[quote user="ncfcfan"][quote user="mikewalker"] Some interesting opinions, here''s my 2 cents 4-5-1 Rudd - That damn Ruddy messed up bad v Forest. A change needed to remind him who''s boss. Francome - Russell looks jaded to me, not scored in weeks Edwards - Ward misplaced some passes vs Swansea & Watford. Can''t trust him in away goals so the Blackpooler is in. Askou - Whitbred needs a rest/dropping. He kept passing backwards to Ruddy v Forest, GET IT FORWARD QUICK Drury - Tierney keeps doing a weird dance at full time, anyone else noticed? A sign of arrogance/camp tendancies? Tudor Jones - Crofts looks knackered, another who''s not scored in weeks. Tudor Jones is handy for set pieces. Gill (Captain) - I like Fox but Gill''s a Norwich boy. He''s knows what a derby means to us Hughes - Back from his loan spell at MK, raring to go. MacNamee - Looked shithot v Watford in a 20 min cameo. Must be worth unleashing for 90mins Pacheco - Jackson got lucky v Forest. Pacheco proved his class in the extremes v Scunthorpes warriors. Case closed Vokes - Rest Holts hammy and let this blonde bombshell sexbomb the binners in his last game before going back to the prem. His motivation levels are sure to be through the roof.   Teamtalk: "They''ll try and hit you and hurt you early doors" *swigs lucozade* "There''s only one way to beat them, get round the back"     [/quote] Surely Daley needs a start, his pace will destory the Ipswich defense and he really impressed in League 2 with his 2 sub appearances at Stevenage . [/quote]   GAH!! What an oversight, I''ve had a mare there. You''re spot on, of course. Fancy a role as my assistant? Me cooking up tactical storms with the flair and panache of a young George Graham, you checking the t''s and dotting eyes just in case the top dogs had one too many cans of Faxe and only put 10 lads on the teamsheet? It can happen. (Purely business of course, I''m not asking you out on a dinnerdate)

Some interesting opinions, here''s my 2 cents 4-5-1 Rudd - That damn Ruddy messed up bad v Forest. A change needed to remind him who''s boss. Francome - Russell looks jaded to me, not scored in weeks Edwards - Ward misplaced some passes vs Swansea & Watford. Can''t trust him in away goals so the Blackpooler is in. Askou - Whitbred needs a rest/dropping. He kept passing backwards to Ruddy v Forest, GET IT FORWARD QUICK Drury - Tierney keeps doing a weird dance at full time, anyone else noticed? A sign of arrogance/camp tendancies? Tudor Jones - Crofts looks knackered, another who''s not scored in weeks. Tudor Jones is handy for set pieces. Gill (Captain) - I like Fox but Gill''s a Norwich boy. He''s knows what a derby means to us Hughes - Back from his loan spell at MK, raring to go. MacNamee - Looked shithot v Watford in a 20 min cameo. Must be worth unleashing for 90mins Pacheco - Jackson got lucky v Forest. Pacheco proved his class in the extremes v Scunthorpes warriors. Case closed Vokes - Rest Holts hammy and let this blonde bombshell sexbomb the binners in his last game before going back to the prem. His motivation levels are sure to be through the roof.   Teamtalk: "They''ll try and hit you and hurt you early doors" *swigs lucozade* "There''s only one way to beat them, get round the back"    

We''ll snot them. We reek of determination. I''m getting Derby away vibes for us, 2 early goals and the contest dead when Crofts rockets the third through a ruck of players on 64mins. Ipswich 0 Norwich 3                   Holt 11, 27                   Crofts 64 Att: 23,512  

INRAT Pacheco wanders. Wes is King of Wandering. Pacheco sub. We need Simeon "Quick Kiss" Jackson to push their defence back, as they be so afeared o'' his litenin pace, ya har. Then that creates lovely old space in the midfield dangerzone for the Spirit of Kenny Loggins to bless Maestro Fox and our high tempo possession game to rock and roll them all over the pitch as we keep the ball and make them run like dogs for a chance of a touch. Or they push up and bite into us, in which case Surman, Fox, Wes, Crofts, Holt, Tierney, Whitbred, Ward, or Russell Martin play a deft thru ball and SJ gets busy with the fizzy. In Summary. Don''t fuck with a winning team.

Our fearsome pirate captain will keelhaul them dirty brigands on Thursday night, just like he did when they sailed into our home port reeking of grog, puke and cabin boys. As we sail on to the Treasure Island the enemy is again on sight on the horizon. Admittedly you need a telescope to see them, a speck in the distance or a fleck of seagul poop on the glass? Take no prisoners. FIRE ALL CANNONS!! Ya ha har... now bring me that promotion. Drink up me hearties yo ho.

Word of advice. You don''t necessarily have to post every single idea that pops into your mind. This song idea of yours, to be brutally honest, is beyond awful

[quote user="BARCLAYBOY!"]whats the singing like on - jarrold block j row MM & LL ??? mikewalker??   Thats on halfway/towards the barclay, no? Basically, the jarrolds better the further you are back from the pitch but nearer the away fans

[quote user="Row D Seat 7"]mikewalker - you sound quite cringeworthy. Enjoy the game dickhead.[/quote]   Apology accepted.

[quote user="CanaryJames"]Norwich 4-1 Forest Jackson hat-trick, after Russell Martin has brought us level.[/quote]   You see this, original poster whatever your name was. This. This guy. This is TEXTBOOK posting a prediction.

[quote user="Shack Attack"] [quote user="a1canary"] we should have a separate bit of the board for "Matchday info/logistics"!! [/quote]   I agree................it would make things a lot easier for potential bicycle thieves such as myself if the location of all expensive bikes were noted in one handy sub-forum [;)] [/quote]   haha. this country/county.

Replica kits are for children and liverpool fans. Think on, eh?

You''re a glass half emptyer. Its ok. Some of us reach for the stars. But us alpha''s need drones, like you, to do our laundry, pick up the mail etc while us achivers are busy rocking worlds.

you heard, Ray O'' Sunshine.