Montgomery Bumpkin

Why? Why not a frisky newcomer?

I would be happy to pay up to £18.00 per month to be part of the vital, cosmopolitan forum. I would like to see moderators re-introduced and would put myself up for the job - no posts from Yarcos or Lahhhdahhnahhhhs!

Yes, they should bring back invalid carriage behind the goal. Also the Norwich and District Pipe Band for half time entertainment.  And sweet trolleys - "Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeets!". And Canary and Dumpling

Kids and no marks from Yarmouth who never go to games. At least there won''t be any London-based fans there, thank god!

Was on the decrepit old semi-circular terrace at the Bridge when Beassant commited career suicide. Still one of my favourite ever away games. As I recall the team bus got stuck in traffic with the players having to get changed on the bus and only getting to the ground just on time.

I refuse to have anything to do with this kangaroo court

They''re actually seperated co-joined twins - that''s why Robert keeps his hair longer to hide the scars. I used to go train-spotting with his uncle who texts me constantly.

If you floor it, you could be back in the Fine City by 8.00. Stuff Sunny Scunny and hot tail it back to Naarrrridgge for beers!

And he was going out with Stephen Gerrard''s bird''s sister!

Will you stop texting me

Did his uncle play for Benfica as well? Did he know Eusebio?

Yes, yes I could. But at least I''d be shutting up in the throbbing loins of the Fine City, not in lah-di-dah, fancy dan, faraway Lahhhhddaaahhhhnnnn!

Your eyes are getting heavier, you''re feeling very sleepy. When you wake up you''ll remember nothing (but your underwear may be back to front). I admire your dogged pedantry. The ground was never inside the Ring Road (well Newmarket Road and the Nest were) but it was ON the Ring Road. I must admit to feeling slightly queasy on crossing from Koblenz Avenue to Carrot Rud but what can you do?

The Ground hasn''t moved. Carrow Road hasn''t moved. The Ring Road has moved - toally new bit of road opened up at the time of the Riverside redevelopment. Koblenz Avenue. Have you ever actually been to the ground? Are you some sort of Lahhhnnnddddhhhannnnn-based imposter?

Until some communist planner dreamt up Koblenz Stalingrad Phnom Phen Avenue, Carrot Rud used to be the Ring Road

Right-mided people wound never have any reason to stray beyond the Ring Road. Only the feeble-minded, workshy, sexual deviants or general wrong''uns and ne''re-do-wells would do that.

Horn, you bounder! I waited patiently, with my second, on Mousehold Heath (near the bandstand) three hours. I think, Sir, that it was you who failed to attend the duel!

Bye bye. Don''t forget to write. Change your underpants every day, you could get run over by a handsome carriage.

Oh the Queen Muvver''s dead and she died in her bed ''Ave a banana!

I bought an "experience" with Aviva the Lemur. It will always be amongst my most treasured memories.

Will you be wearing a Pearly King suit?

I''gg go for Cottaging Roger in the 3.20 at Kelso. Fiver each way.

In the Main Stand, the letters got totally screwed up (hard to believe of Naaarrridgge''s uber-slick operation I know). Only correct element on the letter was the address - the season ticket holder name and seat were entirely random. Obviously a few inefficiencies for you to get your teeth in to Mr McNally.

May even be the same people who previously didn''t renew after relegation as a protest against the Stowmarket Two/ Donacaster/ Mumby/ introduction of decimel currency....

Has your seat moved any further from the touchline? No Have you had a new seat placed directly in front of yours which would significantly change your view? No Have you been living under a stone for several months, unaware of the well publicised installation of additional seating at the ground? Presumably yes. You could start some kind of protest to have the seats removed. Personally, I hate the Jarrold Stand and all it stands for and have campaigned long and hard for it to be demolished.