Woman in the Stands (WITS)

He did write a couple of other books.*The Second Coming - about Mike Walker''s return to Carrow Road. Intestingly he slates the training facilities as a waste of money in this and cannot see the benefits it would bring to the club. We know better now! Darren Huckerby..... Can''t remember the title of the other one as I lent it to a mate years ago and never got it back. It was about football generally but amusing.City Books, off the market in Norwich is where I got * as they sell new and second-hand books.

I know we were in The Shed for the Cup game, which I attended, but didn''t know if that was temporary as The Shed is synonymous with being the end home like The Barclay is for us.

Hey EC - just hope you don''t get the stand at Chelsea we had last time we were in the Prem. Or hope it''s been done up. The loos then were a disgrace - men wading in 1" of liquid on the floor and the ladies were filthy. This was BEFORE kick-off [:@]Have a good day there. I''ll be following online. Can guarantee the cleanliness of my loo [:P]

1) a personal issue, the XARA shirts never needed ironing, yet it appears the Errea one does, but then I didn''t think you could iron football shirts?How dare you swear on here Peas! You used the ''i'' word [:O]Have to say that''s an interesting observation about the players making a cut, unless it''s a fashion thing; remember the 80''s and jeans being cut at the seams at the bottom of the leg anyone....

I have to say I feel the club have made a bit of a PR gaff in all this.If those of you who turn 21 this year actually asked the club prior to renewing what you would be charged, I feel that that''s what you should pay. Like many things, a season ticker is bugeted for so if you suddenly get asked for more money, it''s a bit of a fiasco.Also, glad to hear your mature and reasoned arguments about when you should pay U21 prices and proving your ID. Some other posters should take a leaf out of your book instead of whinging about the increases and the need to prove their age.

A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.Looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Welshman, soon he leaned over to the sheep and..... put his arm around it.But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep...After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together but there was no more cuddling.A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen.. she was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual, it was another beautiful evening .. red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze- perfect for a night of romance.Pretty soon, the Welshman started to get ''those feelings'' again, he fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and realising he now had the opportunity, leaned over to the young woman cautiously and whispered in her ear,''Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?''  

1. King Ozymandias of  Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites.  His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.Croesus said, "I''ll give you 100,000 dinars for it.""But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don''t you know who I am? I am the king!"Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."---------------------2.  Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were  destroyed in a fire, ...and so we''ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.---------------------3. A man rushed into a busy  doctor''s surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I''m shrinking!" The  doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down..You''ll just have to be a little patient."---------------------4. Back in the  1800''s the Tate''s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression -- "He who has a Tate''s is lost!"----------------------5. An  Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man.  After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin  strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off,chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling.  The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."----------------------6. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."----------------------7. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a  hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...  the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).-----------------------8. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.  When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in  the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don''t need enemas."

So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable. A woman was at her hairdresser''s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It''s crowded and dirty..    you''re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We''re taking Easy jet," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Easy jet?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. "That''s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they''re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We''ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome''s Tiber River called Teste." "Don''t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it''s really a dump. What are you going to see whilst you''re in Rome?" "We''re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope." "That''s rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He''ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You''re going to need it." A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome . "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time on one of Easy jet''s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The hotel was great! They''d just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it''s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner''s suite at no extra charge!" "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that''s all well and good, but I bet you didn''t get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I''d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."   "Oh, really!! What''d he say?" He said: "Who the f**k did your hair?"

I noticed the Friday joke thread was omitted yesterday...They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery... if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor."   But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn''t even afford to buy a pot ....they "didn''t have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn''t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:   Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell .... brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all came the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don''t throw the baby out with the bath water!" Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof... Hence the saying "It''s raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That''s how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren''t you?)  In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake. England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night - "the graveyard shift" - to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that''s the truth... Now, whoever said History was boring!!!

Paul - I hope you mean you had email issues and not problems with Miss Norfolk [;)]As for you DDD, I should have known YOU''D lower the tone lolCity 1st - too much information!I''m hopeful the email issue has been resolved as, so far, the retry has not bounced back...

I thought it would be a fun prize - me holding the match ball [:P]Been trying to enter this and keep getting a failure notice.Remote host said: 550 relay not permitted [RCPT_TO]Anyone else had problems entering the competition?

[quote user="TIL 1010"][quote user="First Wizard"] Huzzah! at last, now lets move on:   [IMG]http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Happy/happy-048.gif[/IMG]   http://www.pinkun.com/norwich-city/places_are_up_for_grabs_lambert_1_974838 [/quote] Move on Wiz? You cannot be serious as every goal he scores,every assist,every penalty he takes for whoever Cody plays for next season will result in a thread on here as sure as night follows day until he hangs up his boots[:''(][:@] [/quote]Even if Cody ended up playing Sunday League football, there''d be a thread every time he scored lol

I am surprised no-one''s mentioned Andrew Crofts in ''Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.And surely Darren Kenton would star in ''The Lady Vanishes'' [;)]

As the previous poster has stated, the club keep their ear to the ground as to what supporters are saying and follow this messageboard. Over the last year or so, I can remember reading a small number of posts in various threads made by some bragging about paying for U21 STs/tickets when they''re not in that age group. Are you really surprised, then, that the club is clamping down?

As mastoola says, decent properties are going very quickly at the moment; they did this time last year. Also agree about them not calling you. Did find WH Brown were ok at doing this though last year.Recent Ofsted reports can be misleading as the Ofsted criteria was changed  and the new batch of reports do not correlate with those of 2 years+ old. Ultimately your child needs to be happy and enjoy Primary school. Where this is met, they will learn.Thorpe St Andrew - St William''s and Dussindale are both good schools; the children are well supported and enjoy their learning there; they know they are there to learn; the schools have a good ethos; sports a strength.

As they say, ''Hair today, gone tomorrow'' CF!Just you wait until it starts growing back. You''ll have itchy legs..... but it''ll be worth it!Well done [Y]  [:D]

Lol Harry, that''s more like it!

Harry, that''s far too cheerful a piccie for Tilly [;)]

What has the rotary engine to do with football? [:S]

[quote user="jas the barclay king"]it''s a sad day when a "family" club like Norwich sells its soul to the Premier league Wh*re and jumps on the ticket bandwagon.£17 for Ajax vs Feyenord in the Dutch Premiership.£25 for the milan Derby in Serie A....£50 for Norwich vs Qpr at Carrow road. when compared to our European cousins have we really come to this? Its a sad day.[/quote]Do these clubs own their grounds or are they only renting them? Makes a huge difference to ticket prices....

I was rather concerned this meant we''d need to dig up the pitch to get at the gold...... I''ll get me coat [:$]

Looks like I''m the only one who isn''t a fan of the new shirt.I don''t like the white bits of trim; they look odd IMO. The yellow''s a good shade though - bright.

There''s always Plan B ....As we''re in the Premiership, you''ll be able to watch away games on a live stream [H]Simples [:P]

[quote user="City1st"] how are Championship players going to know their way round a Premier League pitch .... ......[/quote]Forgive my ignorance as a mere woman but surely if a football player knows his way around a football pitch, then it doesn''t matter if it''s a Championship, League 1 or Premiership pitch. After all, there is a goal at either end of the piece of grass, a flag in each corner and the lines are, generally, in the same places [:S]

Labelling is a misnomer anyway as sizes vary according to manufacturer. You only have to look at our previous tops and the complaints over size L and XL from a number of posters. Depends on the fit (style) as well. You have to either try it on or take a gamble at buying the right size