stumpy

Be afraid, be very afraid! Whilst walking past Jarrolds today, who should I quite literally bump into, but our very own ex-chairman, Bob Chase who fixed me with his eyes and obviously waited for an apology. As far as I''m aware he''s still there waiting, cos I was too busy having a ''bad memory / life flashing before my eyes'' moment, I couldn''t bring myself to speak to him. Could this be a bad omen for our forthcoming celebrations?! Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I''ve annoyed the hell out of anyone near me with line after line of clever, sarcastic comments. Am I alone in this quandry, or have any of you others ever been struck temporarily mute when confronted by anti heroes / heroes/ celebrities?

I''ve tried to set it to a bluesy guitar, but it only works when belted out from the snakepit!

Listen, all we have to do is try to get the EDP to casually mention the name of any prospective transfer target, and Megson will immediately begin throwing offers of long term contracts, bags of cash and the benefits of the Black Country at anyone put in the frame. By all means mention Gillespie, Ljungberg , Cole , Forsell , Parker and Pennant, and if the EDP publishes, the ginger whinger will be sniffing around them like a dog on heat! I will personally do my utmost to get the following names put into print, Jan Molby, Tony Cottee, Victor Segura and Carl Bradshaw!! Just wait to see if any of those put pen to paper with the Boggies

Which one was he? The singer or the guitarist with Led Zepplin?

Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles & the bloke out of Peters & Lee could get away with the shades, but I''m sorry Paul, adept crosser of the ball you may be, but fashion icon you are not!

There''s a guy down at the chip shop think''s he''s Elvis (Hammond)! P.S:- I''m sure that was Cedric Anselin who served me at cheese stall in the french market outside Debenhams!

SNAFU as usual with Norwich city council.The authorities are basing all of their calculations on the ''magical'' 30,000 attending Mondays party, and are already getting a severe case of the jitters, so God knows what is going to happen when the city is swamped with two or three times that amount! If the ''pointyheads and suits'' are sowing the seeds of panic, by trying to encourage us to get there for a 4-30 start, then it''s a case of good luck to anyone who actually gets to see any of the event. Choose your stategic viewpoint with care, and I baggsy first dibs on top of the tallest ladder from the fire station, just around the corner!

At long last, Radio 5 Live have finally recognised us as a realistic prospect. A full 10 minute interview with Worthy on the Wright & Bright show. Who knows, they may even stop referring to us as ''plucky little Norwich'' in such patronising tones!

Check out the Richard Balls Fans Eye section in todays EDP 01/05/04, and take a look at the piece about Peter Crouch. He must be the bargain of the century, cos according to Richard, he only cost Villa a fiver! Dammit! At that price I may even skip putting a bet on Iwan and buy Crouchy for City myself!

Maybe the club could reform the God-awful drum & brass section forced on us in the snakepit a few years ago! And after hearing Kevin Pipers beautiful singing voice when he led us off with On The Ball City at the beamback last Saturday, we''ve got it made!!

We owe the big man at least a run-out. How about, on as a sub with 15mins to go, gets the full standing ovation, and is given the captains armband for the remainder of the game. Oh yes! And Iwan scores a trademark goal which seals the result. The crowd go wild, complete with ''blacked out'' front teeth, flammable flags and unofficial shirts! Brings a tear to the eye just thinking about it

Truly the best thread I''ve seen. Many congratulations NMTD. Through all of your sterling efforts during your research with H&S, DTI & Trading Standards, did you happen to see if they give a flammability rating, inherent flashpoint statement or corporate copyright ruling on an inflatable ''I Love Ewe'' sheep, bedecked with a city scarf, because thats what I''ll be taking with me for post match entertainment, if I can get her past the ''man in a jacket'' On the ball city!! Stumpy

Did anyone else notice Spud Head''s slip up on Anglia News tonight. When asked about the binners forthcoming game with the blades, when a win for Landfill FC is vital, but a draw may suffice, he said " We haven''t had a win in ages........Ooops! I mean a draw" Perhaps he has finally realised that his beloved binners aren''t the best team in the division!

Tragic news on Holty, but he''s made of girders, and I''m sure he''ll be back on Saturday. I''m pretty sure that my Nan is more likely to get selected before Easton, but there you go!

The latest rumour doing the rounds from the staff in the club shop is that the shirt will be black with a gold trim, lotus colours, sounds dangerously like the wolverines if you ask me!