Mervyn Corn

Mark Barham

Why did bubbles keep drifting across the pitch? Are we a poor man''s West Ham?

Really? I''d say that true fans were at the John Smith''s Stadium. With me. No idea about streams, I don''t watch ''em. I prefer to go to games. An in-depth knowledge of streams is more for your plastic types.

No streams? How do plastics claim to know so much about how players are playing? What informs your "expert" opinion that you feel the burning need to share with real fans who go to games?

Turn the sound on the stream you were watching up?

Neil was doing his nut in on the line. Wes, who had a good game otherwise, was worst offender. Try getting the ball over the first man at corners.

You need to watch those streams a bit closer Plastic Boy. Those of us who made the long trek to the John Smith''s know Hooper started, that he was useless and was relaxed by the even worse Pepe le Peu.

Perhaps he''s in good form for his club and doesn''t spill every easy shot that comes his way, can kick straight and doesn''t fumble crosses into his own net in a laughable fashion. Just a thought.

Congratulations on finally realising Pepe le Peu isn''t good enough for this league. Give him back to the no mark team we got him from.

In fairness, perhaps Woy just watched the Forest goal on the Football League Show. Ruddy wouldn''t get any where near the squad for a Championship Representative Team on this season''s form. Perhaps he looks much better on streams or the wireless.

I went to the football and it was raining sand we played Ok and then we scored and then it was half time and then we played well again and then Forest played well for a little while and then we scored two goals and then we were on top and should have scored noted and then Forest scored and it was more nervy than it should have been and then the ref blew his whistle and then we all clapped and then I realised I''d wet myself

That we''ll sing on our own from them was deafening in comparison to the Barclay. You have no idea how little noise you make. It''s embarrassing. Eek eek

Just a bit of constructive criticism. They''re fomulaiic, samey of you will. The prose is achingly poor. "What I did in my summer holidays" by Richard, age 9. Must try harder

Did you watch their games on streams as well Ron?

Sssshhhhhhhh what''s that? Listen very carefully. It''s the Barclay. It ain''t what it used to be. Bernie knew!

See what stops it getting boring is actually going to games. Doesn''t matter who you play, a fee jars, a laugh with your mates. What would be boring is sitting on your own, in your bedroom, watching a dodgy stream. Like you. Tragic! Really, really tragic.

Nah, in my normal front row seat well placed to hear both sets of fans singing. If you think the Lower Barclay make a wall if sound you''re dreaming. Totally out sung today by fans supporting a losing team.

That''s Mervyn Horman

Got a bit bored with all that. A bit verbose. Take a tip, it needs to be more punchy. Great game,we won. Des Walker''s kid runs funny and is useless. Something like should do.

Great atmosphere in your bedrooms today lads? A solitary fist pump every time a goal went in?

Just back from the game. Usual suspects on here during the 90 minutes. Did you all bang your keyboards as "virtual applause"? Great to meet the Finnish Canaries in the Gunn Club - all decked in straight from the Club Shop tat. Well done you! Corporate-tastic!

Fantastic! And the cherry on the cake was that that French tool was nowhere to be seen.

Inconvenient truth was that the Forest fans drowned out the Barclay all afternoon.

The stream watchers could all click their mice in unison. I''ll be cheering the lads on but not with some pathetic "chant" dreamt up by some spotty kid. I''d prefer "You''re gonna get what Jimmy Rimmer got" [to the tune of "You''re gonna get what Jimmy Rimmer got"].

You are Paul Moy and I claim my £5.00.