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Showing content with the highest reputation since 19/01/19 in Posts

  1. 11 points
    If my Auntie had boll*cks she'd be my Uncle (or not, in this brave new world). You can do that all day; if the atmospheric pressure was slightly different Buendia might have caught his first half shot cleanly and scored, if the grass was slightly longer Aarons would have found it easier to control his miss, if the ref had viewed it how many others did Leeds would not have been given the corner they scored from. There was nothing fortunate about the scoreline.
  2. 9 points
    Update version of the Farke rap Funny everytime
  3. 9 points
    What the **** is wrong with you? There is a time and a place for your schtik but this is neither.
  4. 8 points
    Still your aunt, in 2019. We'd have to consistently point out how beautiful and brave she is for going through the operation, too.
  5. 7 points
    He needed a break yet he went straight from us to Villa?
  6. 7 points
    To add balance, there's every likelihood that it's the only Championship game that he's seen this season.
  7. 7 points
    Onel is a Cuban, He wears a Cuban hat, He likes to shop in Argos, Because it's near his flat. He buys hot drinks in Costa, And toiletries from Boots, He loves our retail outlets, Despite his commie roots. Oy!
  8. 6 points
    Subject: THE SQUIRREL & THE GRASSHOPPER REST OF THE WORLD VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END THE ENGLISH VERSION: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come Winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food. The English press informs people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of England demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. Diane Abbott rants in an interview with Andrew Marr that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter London city centre. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrels' taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and redistributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper. Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to England as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of English apparent love of dogs. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards. A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels' food, though Spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshopper's drug "Illness". The cats seek recompense in the English courts for their treatment since arrival in the UK. The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery. A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost 10 million pounds is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching England's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in England. The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds. THE END (subject to inheritance tax and property revaluation for the squirrel)
  9. 6 points
    Krul has been immense, still can't get my head around people getting on his case when we are top of the league.
  10. 6 points
    Off to London tomorrow to visit my son who is in the Coldstream Guards. We will see the Ceremony of the Keys again but for the last time as he has been promoted and will not be doing ceremonials anymore. It reminds me of similarities to the kerfuffle I inadvertently caused earlier on this topic. The ceremony is very old. Something of a bygone era that still attracts many. particularly visitors from other nations. People excited and privileged to see something that still even now is an example of imperialism and Monarchy. Things in the armed forces are still done in the Monarch's name. Those were days when we just took what we wanted. We had the force, the tradition and the will to invade countries for their wealth, minerals and even slavery at one time. And we definitely treated some nations badly.And of course some people made this a successful venture and their success is probably still reflected by their offspring. But of course, we in this country, do not do that to other people anymore. We have moved to a better place. These nations are now our partners, we trade with them. We respect them. And we respect their citizens. But just in the same way as my wife and I will be proud watching our son commanding his men in an age old ceremony that has stood the test of time and is still in use today, many other aspects of bygone years are still in use. But that doesn't mean they have real meaning but are just a part of everyday usage. I was still using the term "me old sunshine" until I was told it was deemed offensive. I must admit I don't recall ever using the word scum about that lot in Suffolk. It isn't really a nice word to use about some people you don't even know. Some might be grumpy old grandpas like some of us on here. But I accept it is a word that is used as a term to identify the old enemy. No complaints. When I was a Trade Union Secretary, I asked people not to use the word scab. It isn't applicable and doesn't cover the reason why some people act the way they do. So if I have offended some people with the word I used today, in jest, then I am sorry. But I do say to some of you younger people who chastised me, the world we live in today is a much fairer, respectful and appreciative place than it ever was. And that has come about on our watch, not yours. So please be a little mindful of the achievements of previous generations to yours in bringing about the more understanding Britain we live in.
  11. 6 points
    Of course, some would prefer it to read: ‘When leaving the player tunnel in the now empty stadium at Elland Road, a somewhat diminutive Chinaman stops at the edge of the pitch. A scowl from ear to ear appears on his face as soon as he discovers Tim Krul. "You leave, you let in goal. We buy Courtois from Madrid" "I the boss now".
  12. 6 points
    Seeing what their next game is I think this is appropriate. You can tell him now, we're still fighting for this title and he's got to go to Middlesbrough and get something - and I'll tell you, honestly, I will love it if we beat them. Love it.
  13. 6 points
    Be careful when predicting the future. Six months ago the predictions were we'd have nobody to score any goals. We'd sold all the players worth having except Lewis who would go before the window shut. This was the future with a cook and a nephew pulling the strings. Farke was clueless and his football worse still. Webber was a chancer who'd ridden in on the back of Wagner's successes at Huddersfield. To quote my old mate Lapps - we were DOOMED!
  14. 6 points
  15. 5 points
    I can sort this out for you. I sit in the lower Barclay next to the Snake Pit. I'm about to start the commute home but will PM you later tonight.
  16. 5 points
    I'm a bit lost on some of this, could someone explain if Frenchman or Dutchman are also offensive in today's world, if so then I've learnt something and thank you, if not could someone 'learn' me why Chinaman is, genuine question guys - thanks.
  17. 5 points
    At the start of the season I think a few of us would have been worried about the prospect of a midfield 4 of Vrancic, Buendia, Steipermann and Hernandez- where is the steel, the tackling, who is going to win the ball back? Not today. All 4 were just as good in the defensive phase of the game than the attacking. I lost count of the amount of times those four won the ball back and immediately started attacks. Brilliant.
  18. 5 points
    Outstanding is the right word, you were very impressive, and have been for a while now. I've just tipped you on our board to win the league, and I hope we are one place behind you. Good luck, if your defence was slightly better (keeper dodgy), I think you'd be a shoe in.
  19. 5 points
    Heise joined team training this week and said he was impressed with the Club’s facilities and football philosophy. “I’ve seen the training ground which is very nice, and I’ve also seen the stadium which was amazing,” he said. “It’s a dream for every German player to play somewhere like this. The training ground? The stadium? HAS HE BEEN TO ARGOS YET?
  20. 5 points
  21. 5 points
    It's been a while since my pearls were clutched... thanks for the memories.
  22. 5 points
  23. 4 points
    Prior to Sunday's derby Barclay End Norwich, and ourselves, will be putting on our biggest display to date. The display will cover the entire Lower Barclay and we urge supporters to be in their seats by 11:45 in order to create the best visual impact possible. The Club will be closing off some entrances from the concourse onto the terrace during the display, so again, please be in your seats in good time. We urge supporters to bring scarves to hold up/twirl and encourage anyone with a flag on or around their seat to wave it for maximum impact. Fans may have to spend up to 5 minutes with their view of the pitch blocked prior to the match, up to when the teams come out. We thank you all in advance for your co-operation. Barclay End Norwich & Along Come Norwich
  24. 4 points
  25. 4 points